Where’s your focus gone? You have free time, why aren’t you more productive? Where did today go, anyway?
As commercials keep reminding us, these are uncertain times. Any one of 2020's catastrophes would have been the low point for a different year. As traumatic as Sept. 11th was, our new normal set in quickly. Today's protests have no end date. Doctors, politicians and relatives all say different things about the risks of coronavirus, what steps we should take, and how long we’ll have to take them. |
Along with all of this stress has been an avalanche of advice. Clients aren't asking, “How do I cope?” They already know. They're asking, “What else can I do?” Are they getting exercise and a healthy diet? Check. Are they practicing mindful meditation or other kind of relaxation practice? Check. Are they getting seven-to-nine hours of sleep? When insomnia and worry permits. So why aren’t they feeling better?
Most advice comes with an unspoken promise: “Do this and everything will be fine. Do that and you’ll feel great.” Not “better." Not “good.” GREAT.
Edginess, lack of energy, reduced activity and trouble concentrating are all normal reactions to stress. That stress gets worse when we think we should cope effortlessly with multiple national stressors at once. We’re raised on problem-solving. If you feel bad, you figure out what’s making you feel bad. Fix that problem and then you don’t have to feel bad. This works great for problems that have quick, easy solutions. We’re stuck with several that don’t. It can leave you feeling like a failure. |
We have enough information on how to cope. Let’s talk more of how “coping” isn’t the same as “conquering” or “being completely unaffected by”. Still stressed and uncertain? Look for what other healthy habits you could add to your current routine. If you aren’t exercising, eating healthfully, practicing relaxation skills, limiting your screen time, or reminding yourself we can only control our choices, now’s the best time to start.
You could also go easy on yourself. Chances are, you’re coping better than you think.